Now, the first question you should be asking is “Why? Why would you do this to yourself?” I will be the first to admit that this is not the type of book I am typically interested in. Vampires? Yes please. Vampires in love? Hmm, not so much. But, I kept meeting people (read: girls) that were becoming obsessed with the books and all of the sudden, I was curious. I wanted to know why people thought that this book was so great. So, I promised myself, no matter what I felt about the book, I wouldn’t stop reading until page 498 (the end of the book). I looked at it as research. Well, I finished it and here we are. And I plan on reviewing the snot out of it.
First things first, before I get into the story itself, allow me to speak about the general logistics of the setup. For those that don’t know, this is the story of a girl (age 17) falling in love with a vampire (looked age 17). To be honest, I was a little creeped out by the fact that the vampire was around 90 years old (not including his 17 years as a human before being turned into a vampire) and lusting after a 17 year old girl. But there was something that bothered me much more than that. The main girl in the book, Bella, was described as your average, quiet, average, normal, average girl. The main vampire in the book, Edward, is described as the absolute perfection of the physical form. So how was he attracted to her? Her smell (which is described as “floral”). Specifically, the smell of her blood…because it smelled like it tasted good. So he fell in love with her because she smelled like she tasted good. Now, I’ve had some great dinners in my life that the mere small of made my mouth water. But I never wanted to spend the rest of my life with it. I wanted to eat it and then go relax and digest it.
Story Problems
All that aside, I had some issues with the story itself. Over 100 pages in, I still wasn’t hooked. How long does an author get to make me interested? In screenwriting, the rule is to have your audience hooked by page 10. Novels are longer and deserve more time, but Judas Priest, it took forever to get going. The other major problem was repitition. I can not tell you how many times I read the vampire had statue-esque beauty, or beautiful eyes, or Bella’s heart was racing. Okay, okay, he’s hot and she’s into him, I get it, now move onto the substance. What? Oh, that is the substance….oh…
Honestly, I do consider myself a romantic. I believe in love so strong it hurts and all that stuff, but this book felt like it was describing what that loves is like from a 12 year old’s point of view. Now, after the slow start and the thick “I love you”, “No, I love you more”, “No, I love you the most”, “No, I love you infinity”, “No, I love you infinity plus infinity” middle section, it actually opens up the possibility of being interesting with the introduction of 3 foreign vampires that eat people, specifically wanting to eat Bella. So, as the vampires play a game of cat and mouse with each other (interesting), Bella goes into hiding at a hotel room (not interesting). So, of course, we stay with Bella. And then, at the climax of the book, Bella is getting her trash kicked and you know, Edward is going to bust in and treat us to some sweet vampire on vampire fighting. But before anything happens, Bella gets knocked out. She wakes up and it’s all over, all we get is one sentence saying the vampire was “taken care of”.
I’m a big fan of the vampire myth. I have my own version of them in a script I’m currently working on. I love books about vampires, movies about vampires, etc. I figured the one thing I would like about this book was the vampire aspect. I was worried when I read that she did no research into vampires and had never read Dracula. I’m okay with changing the vampire myth (the new take on zombies (28 days later, etc) is better than the old slow ones) but I don’t like the direction she took it in. She made the vampires way too powerful. Sunlight, crosses, garlic, etc. are all myths. The only way to kill a vampire is to tear him apart and burn the pieces individually. Flawless characters are rarely interesting characters.
So, was my research successful? Did I figure out what was so inticing about this book to all these women around me? I’m afraid I did. It’s not the writer’s ability. It’s not the excitement of the story. It’s the definition of the perfect male. It’s the definition of the perfect love. Now, if someone can read this and enjoy it for it is, then more power to her. But the level of hysteria surrounding this series implies differently. Now, after having read the book, I’m confused about this vampire affair. He’s strong and attractive, but he also has a horrible temper and is always on the verge of eating her. If a young mind were to read this and think that this is how love should be, that you should literally faint when he kisses you, it is going to set up false expectations of what to expect.
This is the point where fans of the series will say, “Well, it gets better in the next book.” My answer is, “that may be so, but I gave this series a book of my life, much more than was deserved. I’m not going to continue on the chance it gets better.” Needless to say, I will not be reading the rest.
i love that you tried. and believe it or not i have the exact same complaints about it. the repition, false expectations, even his perfection gets wearing. which makes the craze, and the craze in me all the more mysterious. i think its the necking, personally. but it took me about 200 pages to get in it, and the second book to get hooked. twilight is my least favorite of the three, and edward is hardly my ideal man.
anyway, i just want to comment on two things you said:
1.) Edward doesnt love her because of the way she smells, thats just what intrigued him at first. plus the fact that he couldnt read her mind and what he began to love was that she wasnt so average on the inside. on stephenie meyer’s website there is a chapter written from edwards perspective of his first encounter with bella. i know you dont want to read anymore but you’ll understand more about him. plus i wanna know what you will think of him.
2.)Edwards flaw is his temper, and the fact that he is completely new to love. hes really just learning how to compromise and have a working relationship. Age can’t teach that without experience, you know?
anyway, glad you tried. and i cant wait for your vampire script. its always been my favorite….
Ahhhh Todd…SIGH.
So much potential! Has Flight of the Conchords on his blog, knows what a gaffer is, but then negatively reviews Twilight and dismisses the other books in the series. New Moon is to Twilight what The Empire Strikes Back was to Star Wars. Had we not gone on, youg Jedi, missed the whole “Leah is your sister & Vader is your father” thing, we would have.
Funny thing, you act like you were not warned of all this before you read it. I guess this conversation was close to a year ago. But I feel the need to remind you of how you were warned. First I told you not to read them that you would not enjoy them. But I was informed of your love of vampires, that changed my opinion and so I said and I quote. “Well if you can get through the first book Twilight with all its glistening pectorals and smoldering eyes. Then I think you will enjoy New Moon and Eclipse.” I went on to talk about how her vampires are different and so on. Now it appears that you did not like her take on vampires anyway so no big deal. Oh and there is another way to kill vampires but it does not come out till New Moon.
Now as for your conclusion on why girls have gone crazy over these books. “It’s not the writer’s ability. It’s not the excitement of the story. It’s the definition of the perfect male. It’s the definition of the perfect love.” It is a nice try but there are a few problems with your conclusion, for starters I do not think Edward is perfect, in fact he sometimes annoys me. There are others who feel the same way I do. Also I don’t think their love is perfect either. I could go into detail but I know I only have your attention for so long. And for this reason I will not go into the arguments I have on some of the other points you made.
In conclusion I appreciate your effort and suffering through all the sentiments (that were too much for most women). I am sorry it was all for nothing but like I said you were warned.
these books are part of the reason my friend got divorced. pretty pathetic.
Mimi: you have much more patience for bad writing than I do. 1) I have zero plans to read anything else she writes, but I’ll never say never…
2) I agree that wisdom does not come automatically with experience, but my problem is the correlation she draws between his temper and his love. Love=patience, not anger.
PS- necking is so much more fun in real life
Mox: I appreciate the comparison and while it may be true, Twilight is no Star Wars to begin with. If only there were a sequel to “From Justin to Kelly”…
Connie: I know I was warned. By you, by my sister, my many people; but I didn’t write this review in disappointment, but rather confirmation of what I was warned about. As for reading the sequels, I don’t want to “get through” a 500 page book. That’s poor writing. I admit my conclusion may be wrong, I admit I’m grabbing at straws trying to understand the draw of this series. You have my full and undivided attention. Please, expatiate.
kerripuff: wtf?!?
Hey Todd, it is me Debbie, Connie’s sister. No book is for everyone, I personally love her take on vampires. For me, they are the best vampires. Why I, and this is just me, think so many girls love this book is because it takes them back to high school when they were wishing that the guys they liked would have some substance and want more than getting in their pants. Bella gets this wish. Edward isn’t perfect, but he is to Bella. I was just happy for her and wished that my high school experience could have been as exciting.
And kerripuff – I am thinking there must have been some deeper issues that surfaced with this book, or someone is really silly.
Of course there were deeper issues, but she became so obsessed with these books & it (as well as other things) distorted her view on what love really is about. She didn’t think her husband loved her the way she should be loved, like how Edward & Bella love each other, which is in a totally unrealistic way. That & she is a psycho bee-yotch. That isn’t the first time I have heard about women’s views on love being so crazy because of this book. It’s a book, it’s fiction, it’s the imagination of a person, it’s completely absurd how people take is so seriously.
I salute you Todd. And not just any salute. This is the salute that the young recruit, upon returning from his first tour of duty, gives to the hoary-headed war veteran. Though generations may divide them, the terrors of war (the terrors of twilight), which they now hold in a common memory, binds them together.
I just recently finished reading twilight, which I started for the exact same reasons you did. There is no escaping the fact that this book is crack cocaine to the feminine mind. After my wife burned through this whole series in under a week I knew I had to figure out what the deal was.
“The deal”, however, still eludes me. I would like to think that something more than the detailed description of the early stages of a relationship based solely on physical attraction would be required to so entrance so many women I know and respect. I mean let’s be honest here. Edward never once, that I can remember, says anything positive about Bella that doesn’t relate to her physicality with the exception of the fact that she is constantly surprising him by what she does and says even though she does and says pretty damn predictable stuff throughout the book.
Admittedly, the “visitors” did pique my interest and I found myself reasonably deeply wrapped up in the story near the end of the book, but……. The fact is that Ms. Meyer considers the strategery and violence required to down a vamp like James to be minutia that she must plow through before having the chance to focus on the reunion between Bella and Ed. (During which meeting, btw, she decides to make the vampire family resistant to the smell of Bella’s blood despite the fact that in the opening chapter of book 2 a cut on Bella’s hand drives them nuts).
I personally am one of those people who are “obsessed” with the twilight series. The reason most women become obsesses is because they get wrapped up in the illusion. The fall in love with Edward. Alot of girls dream of having a man who is sweet, kind, caring, but they also like little danger, and i think Edward provides that. The way that Stephenie Meyer writes her books, makes you feel like you have taken on the life of Bella. She lets you feel what Bella is feeling, she gives you a perfect picture of the things around you. While reading her books, I became a part of the story, like i was watching it, not reaing it. Some people may not like books but in my opinion they are the best.
I personally think that Stephenie Meyer’s description of the vampires is perfect. I have always loved vampire stories but i was getting tired of the cliche. The way that Stephenie changed the outlook on vampires was genius. she took away from the “vampires are evil and do nothing but drink blood” thing.
But hey, everyone IS entitled to their own opinion and every woman has a right to dream.