Long time no see website. Long time.

Well, I survived a hard drive failure with with a few digital scuffs and bruises, but happy to be alive. I did lose the photos/videos I took from a CRAZY 48 hour drive across America (It was actually over 50 hours and only from Phoenix, AZ to Ithaca, NY, but still…). I don’t miss the video (although it was an interesting case study in sleep deprivation) but I did take some pictures of the house I grew up in in Solon, OH, that I’m going to miss.  Such is life.

I went to a friend’s wedding reception last weekend and although I didn’t hear anyone give this advice, I’d be surprised if it wasn’t given: “If you both give 70%, then it will always work out.” The actual percentage changes, but it never hits 50%. But mathematically that would be the most accurate right? If each person in a relationship gives 50%, that would equal 100% and everything would be perfect right?

No. The reason being something I have decided to call “Perception of Sacrifice.” Every successful, healthy relationship requires sacrifice because two peoples’ ideas on what makes them happy never completely 100% coincide. And if you think someone else does agree with you 100%, they are making concessions you aren’t aware of. Now, hopefully you are or end up in a relationship that you don’t have to make too many sacrifices, but it is certainly a show of love to put the other’s desires above yours. And there in lies the problem. Because people are different with different perspectives, they will “weigh” the sacrifices of others differently. So, to use a completely cliche example, if a big college football fan forgoes the games on a Saturday to help his wife/girlfriend with a project she feels is important, they may see the sacrifice differently. He may think he is making a huge sacrifice that although he is doing willingly, he hopes that she will recognize the choice and sacrifice he is making to the depth that he feels he is making said sacrifice. So 50/50 never works because your 50% is another man’s 30%.